About Finding the Courage to Confront Pain

Life is painful, and we can either confront our pain or escape from it. Regardless of how we choose to live life, both paths are painful, but only one leads to freedom.

For us, every day is about squeezing the best juice out of life, deriving the greatest pleasure from everything we do, and being present together.

It hasn’t always been this way for me, as my life for many years revolved around my career, constant new goals, and achieving luxurious travels, adorning existence with more lifeless material possessions.

I was always moving on to the next thing and convinced myself that I was doing it to be free. The truth is, I have never been more trapped than when I pursued freedom through my career.

Outwardly, I was successful.

I earned well, lived what I called a free life, traveled around the world, and could buy material goods to embellish myself and my life. I believed that freedom would come when I had enough money and didn’t have to worry about finances. Yet, I was trapped in the pursuit of the next thing, the next purchase, and the next destination. Behind the “successful” facade, I lived an unhappy relationship where most of our conversations revolved around work, goals, the next vacation, and new things to buy. I was unfulfilled, lonely, and trapped in the fear of being betrayed, not being good enough, and not being loved as I was. Plus, we had a miserable sex life, a mere repetition of the previous one that neither tasted, nourished, nor brought us closer in deep enjoyment and presence. Sex, like my career and daily life, was a pursuit of the next thrill and reward, far from being nourishing for me. I wanted something more and something different, but I didn’t know what THAT was.

Today, I wish someone had stopped me and challenged my idea of the meaning of life. I thought it was about achieving financial freedom to then “live” life.

I wish someone had seen that I was escaping the present and avoiding feeling how I REALLY felt. Escaping the confrontation that comes when you become still and feel. Running away from feeling boredom, emptiness, and loneliness when you can no longer keep it at bay by staying constantly busy. Followed by all the pain that overwhelms you when past wounds and traumas begin to surface. The pain of not having dared to look at the wounded parts of myself and where I felt inadequate in my relationship.

I had become a tough businesswoman, taking control of every aspect of my life that I could. With tillid tryghed respekt i parforhold. At home, in the family, in finances, in planning, etc. I had become more of a man than the man himself.

I did it unconsciously to gain control over a world that, to me, was unpredictable and, in this way, create predictability and security for myself. I lost the desire and enjoyment of sex and didn’t allow myself love.

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Today, we strive daily to prioritize self-love and love for each other above all else. Before food, before work, and before, well… the children. We hold the greatest love for our individual journeys, for a healthy mind and body, and for our sexual and spiritual liberation together.

Keywords such as pleasure, presence, process, spirituality, and development form the foundation of our life and love together.

???? We nurture the mind through daily morning meditation, deep studies, and working on our shared mission in the world. Today, we sat by the Lakes, reading from one of the books we are currently reading together, and enjoyed a glass of good wine. Tomorrow, one of Copenhagen’s beautiful parks might serve as the backdrop for our studies.

???? We nurture the body through daily yoga and exercise to keep the body active and agile – not for appearance’s sake but for well-being and the sake of enjoyment.

???? We nurture the body through healthy and nourishing food, while constantly striving to stimulate our taste and smell senses. We eat not only to live but also live to eat.

???? We spend time in nature and know that especially the sun, the forest, and the water nourish each of us and our relationship. We take long walks hand in hand, enjoying the silence or engaging in deep and nourishing conversations.

???? We work on ourselves and constantly strive to delve deeper into ourselves and each other. We understand that this is crucial for our shared love and endurance, and we make an effort to seek consciousness continuously. This also provides a form of enjoyment but in a different way than the physical pleasure of food and sex.

For me, this way of living is a freedom-creating process where, through profound and therapeutic work on my body and mind, I experience gaining a freedom greater than the one I sought externally. It is freedom from pain, fear, and loneliness, which diminishes as I delve deeper into my own release.

The pleasure within me, with my beloved and in life, has proven to be one of the ways I can go deeper and higher at the same time. It’s about taking the good with the bad and, with the good, preparing for the bad. It’s about filling life with everything that brings joy by simply being present right now and through this joy, strengthening oneself to dig yet another shovel deeper DOWN.

Down into the pain, down into the material, and through this, saying “YES” to life. Not as it will be someday, but as it is RIGHT NOW, WITH EVERYTHING IT IS!

We all encounter the painful aspects of life, and you can either face it head-on or run from it.

Both paths are painful, but only one leads to freedom.

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